Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Professional Tips for an Uglier City

Let’s face a painful truth; when it comes to nature, Jordan is not exactly the prettiest of all countries, first of all, it’s beige! We have no water, and we choose to build cities (or academies?) on fertile land and leave the desert. But you know it’s still not ugly enough for some people’s taste. So here’s how we make it uglier.

1. Litter, litter, litter. Wherever you are, I’m sure you have a paper tissue in your hand, just throw it out. You can do it subtly by pretending it fell from your hand (no, no one falls for that by the way), or you can be bold about it and proudly throw it as far as you can. Either way, the contrast of white tissues on black/grey streets makes a great big picture.

2. Litter some more, shawerma Arabi meal boxes also look attractive on the side of the road, but don’t forget to leave that can of Mountain Dew next to it. You know green is the trend.

3. Cut down trees. Forget that green thing I said earlier, beige is the new green.

Double parking, Chicago style

4. For more beauty inside the city, double park, triple park, hell park over parked cars, on sidewalks (pedestrians never use those anyway).

Election banners
(Just for the record, this is not Amman)

5. Banners. Because we need more of those and because no one heard of that offer you’re giving on haircuts, highlights and eyebrow tattoos. Make sure they’re colorful too.

Crayon on wall....very nice face by a 3 year old Elyse
(A baby drew that, apparently. It looks like troll face!)

6. Graffiti. It’s okay if you cannot draw to save your life, next time you’re waiting in line at a public place (preferably a governmental organization, or when you’re paying bills) bring your crayons (or just a BIC pen) and let us know that wall belongs to you, and your love, Nawaal.

How do you keep your city beautiful?