Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Talents You Develop Working at the Wrong Company

Hello. I’m back, sort of. I still have a lot going on but things at work are much quieter now than the past couple of months, except my mind feels really blank when it comes to blogging. But I miss this so let’s try to pick up.

Being so busy at work made me think of all the different talents that I developed lately working in the wrong place, or more accurately with the wrong people because nothing is wrong with my job, except for some shitheads that make going to work every day a huge pain.

Here’s what you learn when you work in such a place:

  1. Dodge ball:  yes, dodge ball, they like to play it a lot around here. This is your job this is his job this is her job. It’s anybody else’s job as long as it’s not mine. We dodge tasks like they were bullets. Because hey, work kills.

  2. Witty comebacks: I still need to work on mine to be honest, but if you’ve been in the “business” for a while you’ll know exactly what and what not to say to your coworker/boss, especially when they’re trying to shoot you, I mean give you a task.

  3. Time wasting: you managed to avoid all those bullets, you now have 8 (more?) hours to kill by sitting at your office, from shooting bubbles to Tetris to Sudoku, you’re gonna get good at every game there is.

  4. Social skills: of course you cannot possibly waste all those 8 hours shooting bubbles (because then anything you look at will be round and SO COLORFUL) so you’ll pay your other colleagues some visits. Bonding is important.

  5. Caffeine tolerance: all those visits mean lots of coffee, being bored means lots of coffee, so if you are caffeine-sensitive you might be able to improve this.

  6. Procrastination: procrastination is an art. And making up excuses for it is even another art. The creativity some people enjoy never ceases to amaze me.

  7. Acting: no classes needed, you’ll have the best models in front of you and all you’ll need to do is to pick up the gestures and body language basics to be ready to convince everyone that you’re a busy, busy person who doesn’t even have time to sneeze and that you’re the one who did all the work on that report you know nothing about.

  8. Sleeping with your eyes open.

  9. Some technology-related skills: proxies and whatnot, how to get to Facebook even when it’s blocked, how to unlock instant messengers, etc. I hadn’t even heard the word “proxy” before I started work (let alone blogging).

  10. Drawing: because you can’t possibly arrive to a meeting without your pen and paper, and what the heck are you going to write when you have nothing to do with what’s being said? You doodle.

Any other thing you learned at a lousy workplace? Share!