Jordanian English, and Things That Make Me Go Ugh!

We all know there are slight differences between British and American English, some words are written differently, some words that are used in the US are rarely used in the UK and so on. But, were you aware of the existence of Jordanian English? Yep, it’s there, and it’s agreed upon, Jordanian English words are being used by almost everyone in the internet world, and are also used in everyday talk, you might argue that they are not purely Jordanian and are used in other places, but what the hell do I know I don’t have many connection outside Jordan.

I’m listing some words and phrases, you’ll figure out the rest by yourself, and I skipped the P, B thing because it can’t and won’t be changed, it’s ok now:

1. Alot equals a lot

2. Thankx, it’s either thanks or thanx but the more letters the better

3. Birsday, you know cause we’re too classy to say “th”, oh that’s birthday by the way

4. Am, either I am or I’m and don’t ask where I went, I is out

5. The plural of friend is friend’s, yeah we use apostrophes

6. “There going to the mall”, instead of “they’re going …”

7. “We where there” instead of “we were there”

8. A magriphone is a microphone

9. We don’t use helping verbs, we won’t use helping verbs, we don't need help

10. “Sorry for late” equals “sorry for being late”

11. “when will you back” and “when you will back” both equal “when will you get (or come) back”

12. “Is it have…?” means “does it have…?”

13. Very common in Facebook, “thanks for add me”

14. “These stuff” instead of “this stuff”, similarly, “these kind of people are annoying”

15. You can forget about the difference between “specially” and “especially”

16. Angel and angle are used interchangeably, that's your guardian angel in the picture above

17. We write is’nt not isn’t

18. A low is what you call a “law”, lows are there to make our life better (not)

19. Unlike the alot case, you’ll find words like “a bout”, “a gain” and so on.

20. We say “another things”, “another days” … instead of “other things” or “another thing”

21. Weird, wierd, wired, weired… all lead to the same thing

22. “Paolo Maldini you are rock”, personally I find him more R’n’B than rock but whatever

23. We replay a message or an email, and we reply a song because we like it so much

24. “You will loose your mind if you keep reading this list you looser”

25. “oh shoot, I should of turned left”

26. Whole, hole and hall are also interchangeable

27. “this is a good news”

28. Datas! Yes datas!

29. Informations too!

30. Mash potatoes, no you mash them

31. Girls wear “leggins” instead of leggings

32. But they don’t care because they have high “self-steam”

33. “Your self” instead of “yourself”, again, the more characters the better

Do I need to continue?

On a relevant subject, these things drive me crazy:

1. “She changed 360 degrees” what the hell people! If you turn 360 degrees then you’re back where you were!

2. An email is not a website!

3. “Almost exactly the same number” is it almost or is it exactly?

4. As once heard from a well-known Jordanian football commentator “al la3eb raqamoh taqreeban thamanyeh” (the player’s number is almost 8) is it 8.2? Or is it 7.9?

5. A photocopy machine does not print documents; just like a printer doesn't copy papers

6. A cube is not a square, a sphere is not a circle and so on

7. It’s Barça (pronounced Barsa), not barsha! Just say Barshalona as it is called in Arabic, and by the way in Castilian Spanish it is pronounced Barthelona, like someone with a lisp would read an s

8. While we’re on the subject, it is AC Milan not EC Milan, can you say A?

9. Not all 4x4 cars are a Jeep! And they’re certainly not a “Jaib”

10. Where the hell did the W in BMW go?

11. Asses is the plural of ass, “to assess” something is a whole different thing, unless you’re assessing asses

12. If the 2 in net and text lingo is used instead of “to”, then why would you write 2omorrow? What kind of abbreviation is that?

13. I will say this for the two hundred millionth time and I'm not even a doctor: an antibiotic won’t cure a virus, a flu is caused by a virus and you can take as many courses of antibiotics as you like, it’s not going away unless it decides to. Also, when you feel like you’re coming down with something, those black and red capsules are most likely not the answer to your problem!!! And don't say "eza ma nefe3 ma bedorr" because it does

14. If it ain’t a question, don’t use a question mark!!!

15. To call someone and hang up before they answer (ya3ni te3mallo missed call) you need to have as much credit in your account balance as you need to actually make a call! If you don’t have enough to make a one minute call, you definitely don’t have enough to make a missed call! (unless of course you're with Umniah)

16. If you’re using MS Office Word and you need to put what you wrote in two columns, writing the first sentence and then typing space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space and then the next sentence is not the way to do it

17. Also, you don’t draw rectangles and use a straight line to divide them to make a table, yes I’ve seen that

18. No I can’t edit the writing in a table if it’s been saved as an image

19. Shaving hair will not make you hairy if you’re not already! New hair follicles will not be created just because you used a razor to cut the hairs that are already there, similarly, by pulling out a grey hair you will not get 5 grey hairs in the same place! If this were true, people with very thin hair should pull it all out, then they’ll have hair that is 5 times thicker!

20. Eating lots of sugar will not give you diabetes! No it won’t. No it won’t.

Ok you’re probably board now. Have a nice rest of the day the whether is lovely today