Showing posts with label JustSaying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label JustSaying. Show all posts

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Why I Blog


I was first writing part of this post as a comment on Haitham’s post, but then I found I have a lot to say (doh) and thought I should write it here instead, because it wouldn’t make sense if a comment is longer than the post ;)

So why did I start blogging? It actually first started like this, having so much to say, things that won’t fit in a comment, and things that don’t belong on other people’s posts.
The thing is I never really expected to have more than 20 followers, and I’m not the biggest fan of being in the spotlight so it’s not the fame or popularity either, but I have almost always had something to say, something to criticize or something to praise, and I’ve always done it the same way, mostly with jokes (regardless whether they’re funny or not.) 

However, posts that make fun of things I don’t like or things that I would like to see change (like the one in the doctor’s office and the taxi drivers post for example) and posts in which I try to say that some things are being done the wrong way (like the Jordanian English post) seem to be the kind of posts that get understood the most. People usually accuse you of being arrogant when you correct a mistake (apparently correcting grammar and spelling mistakes is what people hate the most) or they say you’re being a two-faced person for talking about things your friends do. 

What I’ve noticed about some (very few and I’m very thankful for that) readers is that they like to attack people who criticize something, anything! You come out and say the internet is crappy and they get all worked up, even though you’re positive their connection is so bad too, you might even get a “ooh look at you complaining about the internet, you know some people don’t have a place to live in and you’re complaining about something stupid like this”, tayyeb meen jab seeret el mawdou3 asasan? If I talk about anything else other than poverty, wars, hunger, unemployment..etc, does it mean I’m being insensitive? Shallow? A narcissist maybe?

Other than attacking, some people like to psycho-analyze a blogger, I always get shocked when I get these, you might have read some comments here, people like to think that the real reason you’re writing a post is because you have had a bad childhood, are lonely, miserable or have some deep dark secret that is torturing you and your only way of venting is by making jokes about things you’re not fond of. Sometimes we need to think in a simpler way, there isn’t a “real motive” behind these posts (mine at least) other than what’s out there, I go out for a couple of hours, face some problems with bad-mannered drivers that make me tick and I come home, open the blog and post what I saw, it doesn’t mean I’m a sensitive girl that comes from a broken family blah blah blah.

Yes I did meet some really bad people in my life, they did things that upset me at the time and I complained, I did not sit in my room crying after my post about friends, nor did I think about quitting my job when I said I was unhappy in it, we have bad days and good days, I do complain about my job but some days I really love it! And I did have some back-stabbing friends one day but at the same time I know some of the greatest people on earth, in my opinion at least. But where’s the fun in writing about that?

I guess you now have an idea about the reason behind this blog, it’s as simple as this:

I blog for fun.

I’m also so glad I decided to do it, I met some of the most amazing people through this, got to know how other people outside my world think, changed some ideas I had, learned so much from other blogs, things about life, about people and about myself.

Finally, anyone is welcome to criticize me here any time, just keep it reasonable, and don’t say something you don’t like people to tell you. That doesn’t mean I’m changing the way I write posts but it’s always nice and eye-opening to know what people think. I might also make fun of anything you write here so beware.

*Note: I did the girls/guys guides post that Haitham mentioned with Seleucid not melicieuse. Just to be clear and give him his credit :) but I would absolutely LOVE to do a double post with meli, she’s one of my favorites :)

*Another note: I love myself.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Trouble with the Troubled.


If you’re the kind of person that people feel comfortable talking to, then you’ve probably had your fair share of midnight venting calls, depressed text messages, cancelled days out with your friends, you get the picture.

I agree that putting friends first is a really noble thing to do (if and only if they are willing to return the favor, otherwise it’s just stupid) and to lend a listening ear sometimes is the one thing that your friends need most when they’re going through a hard time.

But… 

The thing that your friends need to understand is that listening all the time is not that easy and that it shouldn’t be compared to their original problem regardless of its severity. Sometimes they need to consider your feelings too, and what you’re going through in the first place.

For example (and I know this might sound selfish to some people) if a friend sees you having a good day after a series of bad ones, a good day that you’ve been waiting for, wouldn’t it be better if they just avoid, or at least put off, dumping all their troubles on you? Especially when you can’t help?

Also, what if you’re the kind that likes to keep things inside? Shouldn’t they at least consider the possibility that you might be facing some serious issues right now? That the last thing you need is more things to worry about?

The thing is, I was never the kind of person people like to open up and talk about their problems to, but in the past year or two things seem to have changed, and now I’m a troubles dumpster! I really don’t mind giving advice or listening to my close friends when they’re feeling down, but I find it really inconsiderate when this happens:

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(I'll be pink because it's really hot in Amman right now, and she'll be blue, because that's what she is, blue) 

[My phone rings]

-Hello?

-Hey Rand, keefek what are you up to?

-Oh hey I’m at my aunt’s, my uncle came from [wherever] and everyone’s here [noises from kids playing around and jolly family members laughing and talking all at the same time]

-So you won’t believe what happened at work today

-What happened? [Rand how do you like your coffee? Oh thanks khalto I don’t want any coffee now I’m okay] yeah sorry continue.

-I hate this job, that bitch ratted me out today, then we got into a fight, I think my boss is gonna…

-Hold on just a sec sweetie [can somebody hold this baby? he’s playing with the TV] okay continue

[She continues…]

*****************

Another case:

The Girls having lunch!


[I’m at a restaurant, having lunch with some friends just like the lovely ladies above, phone rings]

-Hello

-Hey Rand, ooh what’s that music around you?

-I’m having lunch with the girls hey come join us!

-No I can’t, I’m not feeling so good

-Why what happened?

-I got into a fight with my husband, he wanted to [do something that women hate] but I said [wife rejection] and he [husband angry action] and now we’re [couple trouble].

-Oh, well, it’ll be okay [Raaand, what are you ordering? –just a sec, umm, I want the grilled chicken] yeah you guys tend to work things out in no time don’t worry

-Yeah we probably will, okay thanks I don’t wanna keep you from your friends

-I hope you understand

-Laaa walek of course I do, yalla bye

-Bye bye

[Hey what did I order? -You said you wanted the grilled chicken! –did I tell him I don’t want any garlic on that? –ummm no! –crap!]

Half an hour later, I get a text message: “I feel horrible, I’m so blue, I don’t know what to do, I’m miserable, he sent me this, what should I reply… etc”

*****************

A different one:



[Again, phone rings]

-Hey Rand

-Hey [sniff, cough, sniff, moan, cough]

-What's wrong? You sound sick!

-I am, I was at the hospital a few hours ago

-Yee salamtek! I’m so sorry what happened?

- [This and that and then I got the other]

-Oh salamaat!

-Thanks

-So I feel awful

-Oh no don't! I'll be fine, I took my medication and the doctor said it's...

-You know how Whatsherface and I had a fight the other day? [Oh...] She’s been telling everyone that I said [stuff girls say when they’re mad at each other] so what does she think like I'm gonna...

-[oh God]

*****************

You see some people just talk about their problems because they want to talk, they don’t want help because they know you can’t help, they don’t want advice because they never take it, they don’t want an opinion because they already know what you think and they don’t want sympathy either! And that’s the type of people that can have such a negative effect on my day and mood, so you’re having a problem or you’re sad, I’m having fun, you don’t want advice or an opinion, you want someone to listen, maybe you should let me have my well-deserved good day and postpone this, or maybe you should talk to someone else, if I’m not going to be able to help with that problem, why dump it on me? I know you always have a hard time at work, poor you, but so does everyone, and I don't want to sound insensitive here but sometimes the listener needs to stop listening and start talking, so make sure you are there for your friends when they're the ones in need, or at least make sure they're ready to listen before you dump your load of problems that can't be fixed by them, on them.

**Stories in this post were twisted and turned to avoid hurting people's feelings, but they're so close to what actually happens so who cares yeah?