What Are We Idiots?

You know when you’re watching a show like Oprah or the Tyra Banks Show for example, and they get to the part where they’re surprising one of their viewers at home? I hate that part, I cannot stand it! (actually I hate all parts and I stopped watching these shows a long time ago but anyway)

So the viewer, and let’s call her Habla is supposedly sitting at home (wearing her best outfit and having a really great-hair day) clueless that the presenter, and let’s call her Showprah, is gonna show up at her door and surprise her, but the point is, how the hell did the cameraman with his stuff get inside the house and capture that moment when Habla is casually unknowingly walking towards the door to open it? Is he invisible? Or is she that stupid that she lets anyone in and figures out what they want later? (Like this unsuspecting couple right here, even the "Oh my God!" Is fake)

They're showing you the inside of the house for God's sake! Now they should either stop doing that, and just tell us that their fans were surprised and all, or shoot the outside of the place and then after they're all shocked and in tears, they can start shooting inside! At least then, I wouldn’t feel like I need to beat the crap out of everyone who believes it that much. 

Happy Driving to All of You!

What’s with girls crossing the streets? Is there like a speed limit (of one step per five minutes) for female pedestrians?

Every time I’m driving, and especially when I’m in a hurry, there has to be a very very very slow girl (or most of the time two girls) crossing the street like she’s walking on eggshells.

The other day on my way to work, I had to take a right turn and when I did there was one of those (as I call them) “the whole world is against me” type of woman, and I wish I could say she was crossing the street but she wasn’t, because she was walking in a parallel line with cars! I’m telling ya the woman had her own lane in the middle of the street, and when you’re driving on the main road and all the cars behind you are waiting for you to take the damn turn the last thing you need is someone walking slowly right at the spot you’re turning from. So I honked the horn very gently and in a very subtle way and what do I get? You’ve guessed it: the death stare. So I was like “ya sabbaa7 ya 3aleem”, la2 w ya rait et7arrakat! It was something like this:

Anyway this is not just about girls, guys also have their things when crossing the street, you know when you’re driving, and you see that this guy just saw you so he didn’t cross, but when you’re just next to him he starts to? It’s like he’s throwing himself at your car! I have no clue why they do that but it freaks the hell out of me!

And speaking of those, watch out from those people who intentionally throw themselves at the car as a way to get money from you, there’s more of them these days. A couple of months ago I was also driving in Wadi Saqra Street (from the Hada’eq side) and it was almost empty aside from a few cars when suddenly these two boys jump out from between the bushes to cross the frickin' street and one of the them was wearing roller blades so he almost fell in front of the car!!! I have to say I spent the night searching for my heart which fell between the pedals and finally picked it up and put it back inside of me.

A couple of things before I go:

1. Happy women’s day to all the ladies out there, please walk faster.

2. Before you starting reading too much into it, the woman in the picture is wearing a Hijab only because the one in the story did, and I’m NOT saying Muslim women stare at you when you honk your horn. And they definitely won’t kill you if you do either.

3. Volkswagen are NOT paying me to use their car interior in the picture where my heart is next to the gas pedal, my obsessive compulsiveness is the reason for it, because I do drive a Volkswagen and I want everything to be like it is in real life. (for the record, it is the BEST car I’ve ever driven and I love it and you should go buy one).

4. My heart is ok now al hamdolellah.

You Know When... Part 2

You know when you're walking or running and your pinkie toe hits the edge of a table, bed, door… etc.? That's gotta be the most painful thing your foot goes through :( and I really have no idea why it hurts so much! The other toes bump into stuff all the time but they never hurt as much.

Also, you know when you're wearing a new shoe and the pinkie toe gets all red or gets a disgusting blister that hurts so bad?

I hate that.

p.s. I love this scene of Seinfeld

You Know When...

You know when you keep finding yourself in a situation, and when you mention it to someone they go "oh my God that happens to me too"?

There are hundreds of those things, I’ll talk about them when they pass me by in the future.

Anyway, what got me thinking about this is the fact that today is Wednesday :( you know when it's Wednesday and all day long you're thinking it's Thursday and mentally preparing yourself for the weekend? I hate it, every Thursday when I'm at work, I keep looking out the window of my office and checking out the weather, it's more like a habit, even if I'm not going anywhere after work, I want the weather to be good during the weekend, Thursday has that smell in the air, I can almost see butterflies dancing around, and today smelled like Thursday :( but after all the good news is that tomorrow is Thursday and I can look out the window as much as I want.

There's another one, it's so irrelevant but I'll just say it. You know when you're talking to someone who has a little something on their face or maybe between their teeth, and you keep staring at it but you're not really aware you're looking at it? It happens to me a lot, the whole time that person is talking I'm just staring at that eyelash under their eye that is about to either fall or get into their eye, and I'm worrying about it without actually knowing it, then all of a sudden I notice that and go "would you just remove that!? It's killing me!".

Does that happen to you?