10 People the World Would be Better off Without

Much better, actually close to awesome. So if you see or know one, help us save Jordan’s future and smack them on the head until their malfunctioning brain shuts completely and then try to talk some sense into them. Or better yet, kill them.

1. The texting street-crosser: I almost got into an accident the other day, the car in front of me stopped suddenly, the car in front of him stopped suddenly, the reason: girl crossing the street at 1cm/hour speed while texting. What’s worse is that she couldn’t even bother to turn her head and look at the car that almost ran her over. I wanted to stab her with that heel she was wearing.

2. The salary investigator: what difference on earth does it make if I (or anyone else for that matter) get paid a hundred JDs or a thousand JDs? As long as I’m not taking your money, not working for you, not stealing... etc. is it really your business? Those people go as far as making friends in payroll departments in their companies just to know how much everyone gets paid and where their salary goes. Curiosity? Okay, but when they start nagging each time someone in the company gets a 5 JD raise, smack them on the head etc. Or better yet, get a hold of their salary slip and ask them about each and every detail on it.

3. The family package wedding guest: really? You couldn’t find someone to babysit your 5, 3, and 1 year-old kids so you brought them with you? Oh okay, they’re so cute and quiet anyway. What? I can’t hear you with all that crying! I can get it when it’s a close relative (who should call and say she won’t be able to make it because she has no babysitter to which the host will respond that it’s okay if she brought her baby, and who will leave the moment the baby starts getting grumpy) but when you invite someone, and they tell you that they’re bringing their kids period, or when they won’t even bother to tell you in advance, hire a bouncer that will smack them on the head etc.

4. The delivery guy in the car that is small enough to fit under your right side mirror, they are getting worse than taxi drivers, and you thought no one can beat those. Suddenly they’re all so dedicated to delivering fresh, steaming hot meals that they would be willing to endanger everyone else’s life. The problem is, you order some food, and it always arrives cold! Take off their cap and smack them on the head etc.

5. People who talk to you while you’re on the phone: what is it? Is it that you think you and your stupid topics are more important than anything else? Is the phone somehow invisible to you? Or do you think I’m holding the phone close to my ear as an accessory? I should smack you on the head with it.

6. Moms who only ever talk about diapers, babies, diapers, milk, formula, diapers… A lot of my friends happen to be moms, yet their conversations aren't limited to the baby and the baby only! Sure, babies are cute, but when you only have one thing to talk about, you, my friend, need to be smacked on your baby-spit-covered head.

7. People who click spam links on Facebook: for crying out loud, you will never be able to check who viewed your profile, I don’t want to check who viewed my profile, I don’t care what happened to that girl when her dad ate her sandwich, and Facebook will not make an app that makes your friends send you links to let you know they added a dislike button! Yes you will say that it was sent automatically on your behalf but guess what? THAT IS WHAT SPAM IS ABOUT. Just DON’T. frickin’. click. the. damn. link.

8. This guy.

9. People who bring their kids to the mosque: you want to teach your kids how to pray then good for you! But disrupting other people’s prayers is just wrong, whether you’re a man or a woman, if you have no place to keep your baby, STAY AT HOME. You’re doing more harm than good. I’m pretty sure I will nag about this more come Ramadan and Taraweeh prayers, since some women bring infants who won’t stop crying to mosques.

10. Men who will stare (gawk, actually) at any drop of estrogen that walks by: especially those with a girl (woman) sitting beside them! She wears skimpy clothes, they stare, she wears modest clothes, they stare, she wears a tent, they stare. I’m too disgusted to even smack them on the head!

Next time I’m in a whining mood, I’ll add another bunch of people to this list. We all need to take part in smacking those people so hard their heads will go to Greece and return, maybe in a couple of years Jordan will be idiot-free!

Meh...

Why do you care if they burn a copy, 10 copies or even a billion copies of the Quraan? Islam haters have been burning Muslims for decades before they burn the Quraan, they burned Muslim children, Muslim women, Muslim men, Muslims' homes, mosques, lands, and countries. Which is more sacred? The Quraan belongs in hearts rather than on papers anyway so let them burn all they want, as long as they're not affecting our hearts or minds they're not affecting Islam. People are making a fuss over the wrong thing, we seem to have lost sight of the things that really matter.

Laish M3asseb ya Sheikh?

The amount of Islamic TV channels and programs has skyrocketed in the past few years, I don't know if this classifies as a good thing (because people need awareness and they want to learn more about Islam whether it's their religion or not) or as a bad thing (because who knows where the people in these channels get their info from, and who knows how accurate it is).

Religion is a very sensitive subject that should be addressed correctly, and any wrong, inaccurate, or vague word can easily be misinterpreted and send out the wrong message, sometimes a message that is the exact opposite to what you are trying to say.

The more important part of this is the style of the cleric/preacher/Mufti/daa3eyah/sheikh/Imam, whatever you wanna call him (I'll call him Mhaawesh here but you shouldn't) and I don't mean his clothing style or his hair and beard style, that's something I'd rather not get into at this point because I don't believe there's a uniform for a Muslim! I'm talking about his style of delivering the piece of information he wants the viewers to learn.

Let me explain further, suppose Mhaawesh here wants to talk about mercy, compassion, sympathy, kindness, or any other virtue, he wants to say that Mohammed (salla Allahu 3alayhi wa sallam) ordered us to smile at each other, he ordered us to visit our sick friends and relatives, to treat our children equally… etc. now what do you think is the best way for Mhaawesh to say such things? I'll tell you what: BY YELLING! Or at least that's what most of them out there are thinking.

How can you possibly talk about a religion of peace when you're yelling the whole time? Shouldn't you be doing what you're telling us to do before you appear on TV? At least smile at the camera for God's sake 7ajj Mhaawesh!

There's a big difference between talking on air as if you would be talking to a friend or a group of friends, and talking as if you're telling people off for doing something wrong. And if a non-Arabic-speaking person accidentally tuned in, what would they think Mhaawesh is talking about? Peace? Forgiveness? Being good to one another? I don't think so, and frankly, it's not the kind of thing I would want to spend my afternoon listening to, even when I do understand what he's saying, because if I wanted someone to yell at me I'd just tell my father about that time when guys had to lift my car up to get it out of the place I got it into, at least he'd be yelling for something I actually did.

And even in case Mhaawesh is talking about rules that should not be broken, punishment, sins… etc. this is not the way to do it, because a man of religion should be encouraging people to listen to him rather than scaring them away.

Try to see the difference between these two guys, with all due respect to all the shyoukh out there of course, the first one is an Imam in Morocco during Khotbat Al Jumaa (sorry about the video quality but you have to see this) and the second is Dr. Mohammed Rateb Al Nabelsi on a TV show talking about being thankful for God's blessings among other things.