How Rumors Start

Let me give you a real-life example of how rumors start, I saw it today.

First of all, let’s define the verb "rape" shall we? According to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

Rape: to seize and take away by force

And according to Dictionary.com, to rape is:

to force to have sexual intercourse.

to plunder (a place); despoil.

to seize, take, or carry off by force.

Obviously the first one is usually what comes to people’s minds first when they hear the word "اغتصاب" although a person is not the only thing that can be raped yeah? A land can be raped, for example.

Now what happened today is that news sites published an item that said one of the candidates for the upcoming parliamentary elections in Jordan, is running his campaign from jail where he will stay for 15 days after his wife filed complaints accusing him of “raping her signature” to be literal.

From “Al-Ghad” newspaper,

اضطر أحد المرشحين للانتخابات النيابية المقبلة لإدارة حملته الانتخابية من مكان إقامته في مركز إصلاح وتأهيل قفقفا، بعد أن أصدر قاضي محكمة صلح جزاء لواء بني كنانة زيد الذيابات أمرا بتوقيفه لمدة 15 يوماً على خلفية شكوى من زوجته.

ووفق مصادر أمنية فإن زوجة المرشح قامت بتقديم شكويين بحق زوجها الأولى تتهمه فيها بالإيذاء والأخرى باغتصاب توقيع بالقوة، مشيرة إلى أن القاضي وافق على تكفيل المرشح من التهمة الأولى فيما رفض تكفيله من التهمة الأخرى المسندة إليه.

Now, “raping her signature” or the term in Arabic at least, would mean that he forced her to sign papers, can you picture this with me, wife doesn’t want to sign papers, husband forces her to do so, she does.

Raping her (or another woman), on the other hand would be *cough* slightly different wouldn’t it? What with the actual forced intercourse that would be taking place, all the physical and psychological harm that would be done and so on.

So fortunately I had read the news before seeing this status message of some girl that is “angry” with a country in which rapists can run as candidates (and become parliamentarians). Needless to say it was viral and now lots of people actually believe it.

Now I’m not going to explain my stance of the whole election thing, not going to say my opinion about the government and not going to tell anyone why they should (or shouldn’t) boycott the upcoming elections, mostly because it’s not our subject now and also for other reasons that, again, I don’t want to get into here. 

But, to read one word of a whole sentence, to take that one word, get it into another sentence, spread that sentence on some social media platform where others read, share and start cursing a country where criminals are parliamentarians is just… I don’t know. 

I know the girl must have misread the news, misunderstood maybe, and I know that what the candidate did is still wrong, but for the gazillionth time, can we please check before we spread? (That is if we have to spread). And I'm not just blaming her, people still believe everything they hear/read.

Let’s see the following sentence,

I was sitting with Flan Al Folani who is a doctor in [insert your favorite hospital, markez se77i here] and he told this hilarious joke that almost killed me, I was laughing so hard.

A dude who is just so mad at doctors in Jordan comes to this blog, (hi there dude) he leaves the whole post and reads a part of the previous sentence, dude angrily goes and updates his Facebook/Twitter/Linkdin/YouTube/Wordpress/Buzz/MySpace/WhateverSocialSiteYouWantHere status to:

Dr. Flan Al Folani almost kills a girl by giving her a heart-attack.

Then people are outraged, furious, angry, how could he? I mean he’s a doctor! What kind of country is this where doctors are murderers? Where the hell is the Ministry of health? We demand that the Minister resigns. 

Can we please not? I thought we would learn from the “Sarkozy Proposes a French Version of Ramadan” story. Obviously I was wrong.

Bon Appetit!

Skinny as I might be, I’m one of those people who really enjoy good food; I make up new recipes, alter old ones to my taste, I recommend restaurants and know exactly what a certain meal might need to make it better, at least from my point of view. 

 
Now what really annoys me is that type of people who always pretend they’re not enjoying a certain meal or snack, they would be hungry, eating and their taste buds would be having a party there but they go “I’m not really in the mood to eat”. YOU FINISHED THE WHOLE DAMN PLATE and you’re not in the mood?!

Then there’s the type that puts the smallest amounts of food in their plate (when there are people around) their meal would consist of one pea, 3 grains of rice and two cells of the poor chicken that sacrificed her life so that we can get our protein, and they would be eating like they are forced to eat, with that look that I’m sure you know on their face, I mean come on! Those layers of fat did not just appear there on your body while you were sleeping did they?

Ok how about those who try to justify being hungry? Ummm, not so sure here but I think all people get hungry? “I just need to eat because I’ll get dizzy, I don’t normally eat this” or “I’m only feeling hungry because I’m hormonal, I usually stay the whole day without having a meal”. Oh yeah I believe you, you also do not use the bathroom do you?

Now I know there are some days when people really don’t feel like eating, whether they’re sad, sick or any other reason that would make them lose their appetite, but to have that attitude the whole time? That is just sad! And we know it’s not true.

Let’s see who’s left, oh yeah the "أنا بشتري الأكل وبكبه" type (I buy food then throw it away), so you have money to buy food but you *cough* don’t eat, how about you give some to the poor? That is if you really are saying the truth.

If you can afford food, if you have food to buy, if you can eat food, chances are you’re luckier than most people on earth, so be grateful and for the love of God, just say you’re hungry and say that you like it, no one’s going to judge you! You’re making me lose my appetite.

*This post was brought to by the two impossible sandwiches from heaven I had yesterday, the grilled melted cheddar sandwich I had this morning and the piece of chocolate with bits of cherry inside that I was just randomly given. And now I leave you with the awesomeness that is random Foodporndaily.com pictures, enlarging is recommended.

10 Facts You Should Know Now.

1. Bottled water causes cancer like, the next day, if you drink it you’ll get gum cancer, if you hold it you’ll get hand cancer, if you pour it over your face you will become ugly and then get face cancer.

2. If the mouse you are using has a scroll, then it’s most likely made in the USA, and Americans use real mice to make them, can’t you see the tail? They’re trying to kill us by giving us plague.

3. Using Facebook is bad for your kidneys, because the Facebook logo radiates a special type of ultraviolet rays that aims straight at your kidneys and gives you kidney stones, quit Facebook now!

4. ChanelDiorGabbanaArmaniDolceRabanne’s latest perfume is made of pig urine, do not buy it! The people behind it are Zionists and they’re also trying to kill us, spread the word if you want to go to heaven.

5. Red lipstick is made of elephant blood, if you wear it on your lips, you’ll grow a trunk.

6. Shampoos, shower gels, soaps and any personal hygiene products that contain the ingredient “Aqua” will make you blind, if you read the word aqua on the shampoo bottle, get out of the shower immediately, a friend of mine ignored this advice and she now has clean hair!

7. Potato chips will make you pregnant because farmers give the potatoes hormones to make them grow faster, and these hormones increase fertility in a way that you can get pregnant by yourself.

8. Shaving your beard causes the hair follicles to migrate to the inside of your body and then grow to make a huge hair ball inside your stomach, that’s why guys who shave their beards feel full most of the time.

9. Wearing bright-colored clothes causes the sunrays to penetrate your skin and your lungs will be slowly cooked. You should only wear beige.

10. If you talk on your mobile phone for long periods of time, you’ll have a heart attack. Well, technically, you might if you get a fat bill.

There. I hope this post is as informative as I intend it to be.

Please people, stop this nonsense. If you really believe such emails will save the humanity in one way or another, would you please check if the info is correct before you go forward them to all the 50 contacts you have?

Jordanian English, and Things That Make Me Go Ugh!

We all know there are slight differences between British and American English, some words are written differently, some words that are used in the US are rarely used in the UK and so on. But, were you aware of the existence of Jordanian English? Yep, it’s there, and it’s agreed upon, Jordanian English words are being used by almost everyone in the internet world, and are also used in everyday talk, you might argue that they are not purely Jordanian and are used in other places, but what the hell do I know I don’t have many connection outside Jordan.

I’m listing some words and phrases, you’ll figure out the rest by yourself, and I skipped the P, B thing because it can’t and won’t be changed, it’s ok now:

1. Alot equals a lot

2. Thankx, it’s either thanks or thanx but the more letters the better

3. Birsday, you know cause we’re too classy to say “th”, oh that’s birthday by the way

4. Am, either I am or I’m and don’t ask where I went, I is out

5. The plural of friend is friend’s, yeah we use apostrophes

6. “There going to the mall”, instead of “they’re going …”

7. “We where there” instead of “we were there”

8. A magriphone is a microphone

9. We don’t use helping verbs, we won’t use helping verbs, we don't need help

10. “Sorry for late” equals “sorry for being late”

11. “when will you back” and “when you will back” both equal “when will you get (or come) back”

12. “Is it have…?” means “does it have…?”

13. Very common in Facebook, “thanks for add me”

14. “These stuff” instead of “this stuff”, similarly, “these kind of people are annoying”

15. You can forget about the difference between “specially” and “especially”

16. Angel and angle are used interchangeably, that's your guardian angel in the picture above

17. We write is’nt not isn’t

18. A low is what you call a “law”, lows are there to make our life better (not)

19. Unlike the alot case, you’ll find words like “a bout”, “a gain” and so on.

20. We say “another things”, “another days” … instead of “other things” or “another thing”

21. Weird, wierd, wired, weired… all lead to the same thing

22. “Paolo Maldini you are rock”, personally I find him more R’n’B than rock but whatever

23. We replay a message or an email, and we reply a song because we like it so much

24. “You will loose your mind if you keep reading this list you looser”

25. “oh shoot, I should of turned left”

26. Whole, hole and hall are also interchangeable

27. “this is a good news”

28. Datas! Yes datas!

29. Informations too!

30. Mash potatoes, no you mash them

31. Girls wear “leggins” instead of leggings

32. But they don’t care because they have high “self-steam”

33. “Your self” instead of “yourself”, again, the more characters the better

Do I need to continue?

On a relevant subject, these things drive me crazy:

1. “She changed 360 degrees” what the hell people! If you turn 360 degrees then you’re back where you were!

2. An email is not a website!

3. “Almost exactly the same number” is it almost or is it exactly?

4. As once heard from a well-known Jordanian football commentator “al la3eb raqamoh taqreeban thamanyeh” (the player’s number is almost 8) is it 8.2? Or is it 7.9?

5. A photocopy machine does not print documents; just like a printer doesn't copy papers

6. A cube is not a square, a sphere is not a circle and so on

7. It’s Barça (pronounced Barsa), not barsha! Just say Barshalona as it is called in Arabic, and by the way in Castilian Spanish it is pronounced Barthelona, like someone with a lisp would read an s

8. While we’re on the subject, it is AC Milan not EC Milan, can you say A?

9. Not all 4x4 cars are a Jeep! And they’re certainly not a “Jaib”

10. Where the hell did the W in BMW go?

11. Asses is the plural of ass, “to assess” something is a whole different thing, unless you’re assessing asses

12. If the 2 in net and text lingo is used instead of “to”, then why would you write 2omorrow? What kind of abbreviation is that?

13. I will say this for the two hundred millionth time and I'm not even a doctor: an antibiotic won’t cure a virus, a flu is caused by a virus and you can take as many courses of antibiotics as you like, it’s not going away unless it decides to. Also, when you feel like you’re coming down with something, those black and red capsules are most likely not the answer to your problem!!! And don't say "eza ma nefe3 ma bedorr" because it does

14. If it ain’t a question, don’t use a question mark!!!

15. To call someone and hang up before they answer (ya3ni te3mallo missed call) you need to have as much credit in your account balance as you need to actually make a call! If you don’t have enough to make a one minute call, you definitely don’t have enough to make a missed call! (unless of course you're with Umniah)

16. If you’re using MS Office Word and you need to put what you wrote in two columns, writing the first sentence and then typing space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space space and then the next sentence is not the way to do it

17. Also, you don’t draw rectangles and use a straight line to divide them to make a table, yes I’ve seen that

18. No I can’t edit the writing in a table if it’s been saved as an image

19. Shaving hair will not make you hairy if you’re not already! New hair follicles will not be created just because you used a razor to cut the hairs that are already there, similarly, by pulling out a grey hair you will not get 5 grey hairs in the same place! If this were true, people with very thin hair should pull it all out, then they’ll have hair that is 5 times thicker!

20. Eating lots of sugar will not give you diabetes! No it won’t. No it won’t.

Ok you’re probably board now. Have a nice rest of the day the whether is lovely today

Men of the World: Flaunt Your Facial Hair!

Have you guys noticed that lately it is becoming more acceptable for guys to care too much about their looks? A man's, ahem, "beauty collection" now is more than just his shaving cream, now they have facial scrubs, masks, sunscreen lotions, moisturizers and even toners! Hell I never use all those and I'm The Body Shop's biggest customer! Besides, who on earth uses toner?

Anyway, you can call me old fashioned but I liked it better when a guy had no idea what a scrub was, and thought an exfoliator was one of them car parts.

And that's not the worst part of the story yet, at least to me it's not. The thing that bugs me the most is that more guys are plucking their eyebrows now! Oh my God I have to say that I have a serious problem with a guy whose eyebrows are perfectly shaped like a woman's, you can call me an eyebrow-ist, a facial-hair-ist or even a plucko-phobic, but I can't stand it, guys are supposed to have bushy eyebrows, well not as much as this guy below but come on! 

Facial hair is one of the things that make a man's face, well, manly! Just leave it there.
If someone showed me this guy's face with longer hair for example, there's no way I'd believe he's a guy (and what's with the pouty lips?).

As usual, some slightly relevant Seinfeld scenes… 

Please Don't... Part II

I would like to know who started this fad of exaggerated makeup! What the hell people? This is UGLY, it’s UGGGGLY, it’s hideous, it’s unattractive, it’s scary, it’s not pretty, it doesn’t make you look any better, it looks like paint, ugly paint.

The false lashes look like as if an insect with a hundred legs crawled up your face and settled there, and oh God when the white glue is showing, it’s like that insect laid eggs there.

What's the difference?

The lipstick looks like it’s about to drip, it’s like some sort of paste, or it’s so glossy that it looks sticky and wet. And whats worse is that the lipliner pencil is used on the face instead of the lips (the whole thing should tossed out if you want my opinion).

You also don’t have to use the whole bottle of foundation, or powder, you look like a sponge cake.

I’d like to know that if we ever say hello and kiss on the cheek (even if it’s in the air) that your makeup won’t come off or get smudged, I would also like to not be able to smell your makeup! Yes I can smell it, I’m sure that’s not your perfume, and it’s not your shampoo either, nope, that’s the smell of your cakey foundation, 1 kilogram of pure face paste painted with a brush.

Also, I don’t want strands of my hair glued to your lips if the wind blows (or not), I don’t care if your lip gloss tastes like zucchini or strawberry.

And please, puh-leaaaase, don’t ever, ever, ever cover acne with layers and layers of makeup, without it, it’s just a zit, and when you layer it on, it becomes like another small face is growing out of yours.

And what is up with the concealer that’s 5 shades lighter? That just makes you look like you were out in the sun all day long and got your cheeks sun burnt.

And the rainbow eye shadow?

You need to learn from the pros

I'd like to hear what the guys have to say about it. Maybe if we have enough votes we could get the governments to ban this :S

Please Don't Go...

 

According to Goal.com, Valencia star David Villa insisted he is happy at the club and not looking beyond the end of the season, El Guaje, as they call him, said he is committed to achieving Valencia’s goal in qualifying for the Champions’ League.

That’s just the kind of news that scares me :( I’m a huge Valencia fan; yeah Spanish football fans in Jordan are divided into three categories; Barcelona fans, Real Madrid fans, and yours truly, possibly the only Valencia fan out there, well let’s not exaggerate, there are probably another two or three :(

Back to the original point, usually (from my point of view) when a player postpones his answer to rumors about a transfer it’s usually true, I hope not though, he did say that his contract doesn’t end in 4 years, but that’s never an issue.

I hope I’m just being my pessimistic self :’(

Please Don't...

The other day I was going down the escalator at the mall, and this woman in front of me was wearing, I don't know whether or not it's right to call it a Hijab! El mohem it was a scarf wrapped around her head then all the way to the opposite side, up, down, twisted and twirled, braided and pinned. I can’t even begin to think of the time it took her to wear that whatever, there were about 100 pins in it; I swear if I had a magnet in my purse she would have been pulled towards me.

What is that? It’s not beautiful! Definitely not elegant, and not at all artistic (as I bet she thinks).

Religious views aside, it’s the decade’s most widespread fashion faux pas, it just makes my eyes really sore :(

Seriously, please don’t.

The ones at the bottom look like shower caps, I'm not even sure they're not.

And I'll leave the comment on this one to your imagination.

I even think I prefer this to them:

It could become a hit with governmental organizations' employees :) sorry I couldn't help it :P