Wednesday, August 4, 2010

10 Signs You’re an Awkward Turtle

I tend to be really awkward when meeting people for the first time, this usually happens on the first and maybe second times I meet them but then fades away and I become the opposite, anyway, if you’re still unsure whether or not you are an awkward person, here are the major signs (I have most of them most of the time): 

1. When you meet someone new, the conversation goes like this:

You: hey
Them: hey
You: how are you?
Them: good how are you?
You: good how are you?
Them: :S

2. Your only response to compliments like “you look good today”, “I like your blouse”, “I like your scarf”, “I think you’re smart”, “you have such a beautiful skin”… etc, is a big goofy smile and possibly a “thanks” (which is not the way it’s done in the Arab world because there is a certain reply for every type of compliment.)

3. You respond to the phrase “it was nice to meet you” with a “hehe”.

4. When you’re about to meet someone important, you plan a whole nice conversation in your head with all the right things to say only to end up with the same goofy smile and a stupid look in your face that says “hey I’m probably the dumbest person you’ll ever meet so don’t even try”, you also slap yourself repeatedly after that meeting.

5. When you meet someone you’ve heard of but never actually met, you end up staring at their hair, eyes, nose… etc only because that’s not how you pictured them to be, in your stupid messed up mind that is, which makes them uncomfortable.

6. At social gatherings, you wait for people to come talk to you and invite you to sit with them, otherwise you’re just playing with your phone (which has nothing on it to play with so you start reading the old messages in your inbox).

7. If you meet another awkward person like you, you’ll probably need a third person to start a conversation or it’s going to be “it’s really hot today” “yeah, it’s the heat wave” “yeah”.

8. There were lots of instances where people changed the subject right after your valuable contribution to the conversation.

9. You want to call someone:

And there is nothing wrong with the reception.

10. You can’t order delivery to save your life!

On a final note, if you’re a guy, and one or more of the above points apply to you, when you meet a girl for the first time, please, please refrain from making jokes. I think you know that I have your best interest in mind.