Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Ugly Duckling Goes to the Doctor

Yesterday I was at the ENT doctor’s office with my mom, you’re supposed to come to the office between 4 and 6 PM and register your name then wait for your turn to come, to be honest this is better than making appointments, because this word’s definition in the Jordanian dictionary is still vague, anyway, after 6 PM they don’t accept any patients but those who are already there might stay there until 8 or later. Here are a couple of things about the oh-so-fun adventure plus some general observations:

1. I arrived at 5-5:10 but got to see the doctor at 7!

2. It’s an EAR-nose-throat doctor but the doctor’s assistant has the lowest voice that even someone with perfect hearing can’t hear.

3. As I sat and waited for my turn, people who came after me got in before me, I still have no idea how that happened, the assistant seemed to be very strict.

4. After I registered my name and turned to sit down on one of the chairs, this woman quickly put her hand on the chair and called her (probably 2-year-old) daughter to come sit on it. The girl ignored her mom and so did I, but after I sat the little girl was about to cry so I got up.

5. Anyone who wants to see a doctor in Jordan has to bring as many family members as he\she can, infants, children, young, old, male, female, brothers, sisters, nephews, grandmothers, grandfathers. It’s what your extended family is here for so use them.

6. The people in the waiting area are the ones who want to hear your symptoms not the doctor inside, so you need to describe exactly what you’re going through, preferably with a little (or not so little) drama. Hell I just went there to hear some stories about snot.

7. While my mom and I were sitting there, this woman came and sat next to us, for 90 minutes she was on the phone, apparently she had been to another doctor’s office earlier because her arm hurts, and she told him that she’s unable to carry her handbag so he joked telling her to get someone to carry it for her (don’t know about you but I love a doctor with some sense of humor -regardless of its quality) so this pissed her off and she called everyone in her contact list on her two phones to tell them, according to her, she wants the whole country to know how stupid this doctor is, and she’s going to get the newspapers to write about him. What’s worse is that she repeated the damn stupid story twice in each phone call, so you can only imagine how many times I had to hear it, along with other stories of how last night she was bleeding and “crying, crying, crying” and was "almost dead". Her voice is of that scratchy type that eventually gets on your nerves. She was also saying that the doctor’s assistant had a "dog face" in a very loud voice, the assistant finally let her in before people who came earlier but I think that was just to get rid of her. She was annoying everyone there and I don't believe she doctor she needs to see is the ear-nose-throat doctor!

8. After 3 seconds of peace and quiet another one came in, same thing she was on the phone the whole time but this time it was work, she made about 40 phone calls and each lasted 30 seconds or less. It was the first time in my life that I hear the word “router” a hundred times in one session. Apparently she remotely diagnosed a connection problem they were having at work and was working to solve it. Her genius diagnosis was that the router was unplugged!

9. A woman and her brother, husband whatever came in at probably 6:30, the assistant said she can’t let them in because it’s past 6 o’clock, then she asked them whether or not they had insurance and the guy said that they don’t. Why waste 20+ JDs in cash here? She let them in.

10. I have to admit that medicine in Jordan has reached very advanced levels; the doctor knew what was wrong with me before I told him the symptoms! I was at his office for 5 milliseconds and he had already written the prescription and decided that I don’t have a sinus infection. Ibtasem, anta fi 3asr al sor3a.

11. He told me that engineers are cheapskates! Apparently the Jordan Engineers Association health insurance pays doctors fees according to old prices, I smiled and left, but I’ll tell you one thing: for a half minute visit to a doctor that doesn’t want to hear me out, 20 JDs are more than I would be ok to pay, even if I weren't an engineer, that is without considering the 2-hour long headache that I got there.

Wishing all the readers here a happy, healthy life!


Anonymous said...

a 2 hour wait the hell does that doctor manage to be late on his schedule if he only sees patients for about 4.2 minutes each
i love my doctors you have an appointment and they are never longer than 20 minutes late on it
mobile phones should not be allowed in doctor waiting rooms, but i see why they would 3 hour wait you are wasting a lot of time sitting

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

Thax for sharing the exp. :)
Had fun reading and picturing the events, lol.

Amusing indeed, best thing I`ve read since this morning.


Ahmad said...

this is probably the best of your work,but if you want more material on this subject you've gotta make a tour around the university of jordan hospital..

Anonymous said...

sounds like a fun day out. You could almost make a movie out of this experience - with lots of different charactor close ups - look up Jacques Tati on Youtube - there you have it.

Whisper said...

Salamat Salamaat ya amar :)

All what u wrote are soooo true and we see that nearly in each and every doctor clinic :S

yalla at least u had fun during the 2 hours

Rand said...

mel, i would like to know how u came up with the 4.2 minutes thing :) and yeah if you're waiting there alone for hours u can't really do much :s

thank u Haitham

Ahmad, no i definitely wouldn't wanna go there, i'll leave that to Ahmad Hassan Al Zo'bi :)

it's not fun unless u try to picture it from a funny point of view, i could have written it to sound like a very bad day, but i chose this instead ;)

Allah ysalmek Whisper :) bas it wasn't fun, bas i got to write a post about it and this is fun :D

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