Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Do You Come in Another Color?

Everyone knows at least one person whose closet contains different pieces of the same color right? And I’m not talking about people who have two or three blue shirts; I’m talking about people who always, always, always, wear the same color. You can call them (or their closet) monotonous, and I'm no fashion expert but here’s what I think:

1. People who always wear blue: okay, I know, “no one hates blue”, but blue is like the most overused color on earth, seriously it is time blue is left to rest in the sky, sea or oceans. Okay maybe on the cold side of the tap or water cooler. Just let it rest for a while then get back to wearing it. Besides, denim will always remain blue.

2. People who always wear red: you’re ruining an amazing color by overwearing it! This is either a desperate cry for attention or someone has told you you look good in red and you just can’t get over it (or them, for that matter). Either way, you need help, and new clothes.

3. People who always wear black: oh get over yourself! Life doesn’t suck and you’re not miserable! And if you’re trying to look like you have a darker side than the cotton candy pink that you are, it’s not working! If you wear black to look thinner, there are other dark colors that will do the job.

4. People who always wear white: trying to look pure and angelic? I know, “white goes with everything” but every day? Really? And you lose your right to whine when the ketchup you spilled over your outfit makes you look like you’re wearing the Japanese flag.

5. People who always wear grey: who are you, death? You look like you came out of an old TV set, and it wasn’t a fun show. People like you are the reason grey is not a popular color.

6. People who always wear purple: purple is one of those colors that should not be overused, it’s like orange, turquoise and yellow. You just don’t wear those all the time. I get that it’s trendy and some shades of it are awesome, but that doesn’t mean you go and buy every single purple item of clothing in the mall, you look like a Barbie wannabe.

7. People (girls) who always wear pink: why look at you all fuzzy, fluffy and cute like a little princess! We got over it honey, you’re not strawberry-flavored anymore. And who would want to eat strawberries every. frickin’. day anyway? (I have to admit though; you’re more Barbie than number 6).*

8. People who always wear brown: aaah brown, the friend of all khaltos, it’s like some people associate brown with 50+ year-old women. So much that khalto-clothing stores have brown as the basic color for all khalto outfits. You’re allowed to wear other colors you know, no one will talk about you behind your back, except maybe Umm-Yaseen when she tells Umm-M7ammad and Umm-Husam over morning coffee, but screw her she already talks about you anyway.

* This does not apply to baby girls, of course, since they don’t make their clothes in any other color, and since some baby girls need to be dressed in pink for people to know they’re in fact female babies.