Thursday, April 15, 2010

Dear Sir...

Dear Sir,

I’m writing this letter, filled with hope that you will maybe, just maybe take a couple of minutes out of your busy day to read it. I’m desperate, scared, and constantly worrying about this issue that keeps me up all night. Nobody will listen to me, they all think I’m being silly.

But this thing has happened before, so my worries and concerns are all justified, I’m just speaking for the sake for everyone, see you’re the only person who can make this thing happen and the only one I could turn to so please, please try to understand. You’re the only one who has what we want, or to put it right what we need, because we need it, we really do.

We have nothing else but this to hope for, it’s been the only thing that can put a smile upon the faces of the people recently. You know how things have been, disaster after another, crisis after another. We don’t need another thing this year.

You know you can help us if you keep this for us and not let anyone else use it or break it until we’re able to have it. I promise we will return it come August but I’m afraid if people have constant access to it right now, that it will need to be put to rest by the time we need it.

And if you really still need it right now, please take good care of it, protect it with your life sir, it is our last hope, no one believed that such a miracle could exist in real life after the last one ended, and when it came people were trying hard not their hopes up because we didn’t want to be disappointed when it all turns out to be an illusion, but after seeing it day after day, we couldn’t help but believe, wish and pray that this is the answer. This is what will make our dreams come true.

We beg you Mr. Guardiola, don’t let anyone break Messi. Argentina needs its savior.

Sincerely yours…


Dear Xavi Hernández,

Would you please move to Argentina and apply for a citizenship there? You look better wearing blue with Messi in front of you. I’m sure the officials won’t have any problem giving it to you. I know that not so many people give you credit for all those victories, but those who know best really do.

p.s. I think I may have developed a crush on you lately. I apologize in advance for any stalking I might be doing. Be sure that absolutely no harm is intended.

Truly yours…

**For those of you who will be saying things like, you’re Jordanian not Argentinian, I promise I will support the Jordanian national team next time they’re in the World Cup, it’s such a shame they didn’t make it this year, we got so used to them being in the Mundial that this just feels weird.


Shaheen said...

you cracked me up, I understand Argentina Fans concerns about Messi, they guy scored 40 goal for Barca this year, 6 matches left in the spanish league and 5 matches in the CL which is too much before the world cup, his load is more than any other player in the world.

your appeal was hilarious

Anonymous said...

Uff, it took me all day to figure this out - until I researched the italics - not that I really follow football.

This is so good! Do you create crosswords as well Rand, cryptic ones?

Anonymous said...

LOOOL...wana ba2ool what are you talking about, arateeh football !

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

Soccer BIG fan :), I guess we all sensed it will be something funny at the end but never expected it wud be a soccerish thingy :D.


Anonymous said...

messi u r rock plz dont never ever thinki in leaving barca its notuing without u,, n about Xavi u r right and by the way any one play in front of Xavi even me!! he will score,, no body can see the field better than Xavi or innesta

Anonymous said...

im so looking forward to those unbearably hot and sticky days watching football while eating ice cream

Rand said...

Thanks everyone yeah I'm really looking forward to the World Cup this year, not many days left :)

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