Thursday, April 1, 2010

Your Ultimate Guide to: Posting a Photo Album on Facebook (Guy Edition)

The Blog of the Ugly Duckling (upon the request of its readers, and keeping up with our policy of maintaining high levels of customer satisfaction) Presents:

Your Ultimate Guide to: Posting a Photo Album on Facebook (Guy Edition).

Now after I showed the girls what kind of photos they should upload on their Facebook accounts, some guys are left clueless as to what they should post (just pretend it’s true) and because we all really need to see your pieces of art, w wjouhkom el tayybeh, I decided you guys should get a guide too. So here it goes.

Picture#1: your Excellency at your office, because you’re a hard-working dude, and you have a nice desk, and sometimes you’re really busy and stressed out, so put your feet on the desk and lie back, we want to know what size shoes you wear.

Picture#2: your cool new shades, and it should be a close-up, also, try to get a reflection of the sunset on them, that’d be coolness at its very best.

Picture#3: your photo dressed in that one suit you own, at your friend’s (or brother’s) Jaha, who knows, maybe this photo will get you engaged some time soon.

Picture#4: you swimming in a pool with a big goofy smile on your face, and it would be even better if your friends are in the background acting weird.

Picture#5: you at your favorite café, wa yofaddal ykoun maqha sha3bi :) smoking Arguileh, and looking high

Picture#6: should you buy a new car, a picture of it has to appear on your profile within 10 minutes of its arrival. Period.

Picture#7: you know how “smokin’” you look when your barbecuing, we want a whole “hash w nash” album, with photos of tomatoes and onions, and a black plastic bag filled with trash, you know how we love those.

Picture#8: a picture that portrays the everlasting unspoken bond that you have with certain friends i.e. shellet el shaddeh, or those friends you play cards with.

Picture#9: the Mansaf photo. If you are a proud Jordanian, this is a part of your identity, the government (hello, Mr. Government) is contemplating making it the official photo used on the ID, you need to be elbow deep in Mansaf, with rice bits here and there, mind you I never eat Mansaf, so I might have some problems with this new decision.

Picture#10: any photo that depicts that dark phase you were going through during the Tawjihi year; unshaven beard, uncombed hair et violà, you’re good to go.

Picture#11: especially in the case of guys who go to work in Dubai, or go to study in a western country, your coolness is measured by how many pictures you have in the album “clubbing” or “partying”, how many girls are in the pictures, how many of those are blond, how many are half-naked, how many pictures of you being kissed by a girl (or two) on both cheeks while looking at the camera with your eyes wide, wide open (cliché) oh oh, and what type of drink you have in your hands. Basically the number of photos you’d get in trouble if your parents saw.

Well I wanted them to be 10 types, because who makes a list of 11 elements? (Also, 11 is a prime number and I have a problem with those, OCD alert!) but they’re all equally important, so there you have it. Recharge that camera and get to work.


Rula A. said...

LoLs so true.. Lsn there is one pose missing.. When he is holding one of his nieces or nephews xD

Whisper said...

LOOL Love it :D
Soooo true ..

maybe now guys admit that we really know and understand all their tricks :D

jaraad said...

Since I am a student in a western country I can relate to #11 it is soooo true. I never understood why a boy born and lived in a Muslim Arab country for 17 or 18 years the first thing he wants to do when he leaves his country is post pictures of him with girls and beer. What mentality some Arab kids have to believe that holding a beer is considered macho.

مياسي said...

loooooooool :)

so so funny
let me admit it
u are so funny "rebdawian" girl
i read it 2 my sis too :)

zuhair said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zuhair said...

i have to check my facebook and make sure that non of the examples are there )))

Ahmad Hamdan said...

Number 2,3 & 5, i have one of those kinds :D, btw the photo of the Mansaf mad me miss it even more.

Ahmad said...

whats wrong with the one in a suite?! ya3ni 5alli el sabaya yshoofonivmarra bdon bantaloon sa7el :P

Rand said...

Rula :) ur right, but not all guys do that.

Whisper, mahowweh ya3ni zay ma fi tricks lal banat beddo ykoun lal shabab right?

Jaraad, for some reason it's considered cool. Allah yehdeehom

Mayasi, both u and ur sister are welcome here

Zuhair and Ahmad Hamdan, nothing wrong with being normal ;)

Ahmad el tani, oh I'm not saying there's something wrong in it, i'm just saying it's always there :)

Haitham هيثم Al-Sheeshany الشيشاني said...

that was so outchy! - truth hurts any1 :P


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