Sunday, March 7, 2010

Your Ultimate Guide to: Posting a Photo Album on Facebook

Alright, so you’re a girl, and you’re going to post your pictures on Facebook, what you need to know is that you can’t just take a picture wherever you are and however you look and just post it, you need to pose for photos in certain ways, that is if you wanna be like the rest of Facebook community girls, and now I’m going to teach you how :)

1. If you recently graduated from university, you have to (and by have to I mean that you’ll never find that 3arees if you don’t) post your yearbook photo, with the graduation robe, and make sure the lining of the sleeves is included in the photo, you want the 3arees to know which faculty you graduated from don’t you?

2. Now, go get some black eyeliner, smudge black eye-shadow on your lids, done? Get that camera and take a picture of your eyes, make sure you neatly plucked your eyebrows though, they're a necessary element in the picture.

3. Akeed you have a favorite big teddy bear sitting on your bed right? Go sit behind it, cuddle it, say cheese (or not) ok.

4. Now let’s pretend there’s absolutely no one there to take your picture, again, get the camera, stand in front of a mirror, NO smiling, now try to look like the whole world is against you, there you go.

5. You have got to have a photo of you putting your hand on your cheek, it’s the default.

6. You also need to take your own picture from up above, looking up, because we’d really like to know how people who are one meter taller than you see you.

7. You’ll need your best friend for this one; now both of you pucker up, smokin’ hot.

8. Now you finally blow-dried your hair, we need to immortalize the moment, play with your hair and mess it up while your photo is being taken. Shattoora.

9. So you finally got a car (or a driving license), the photo of you driving the car is the only way to let people know, you know.

10. Finally, the next time you go out, remember to have your picture taken while you’re grabbing any metal object, preferably a pole, don’t forget to do the victory sign with your fingers and move your hip backwards for a “provocative” look.

For the record, as much as I wanted to post some real pictures from our Arab Facebookers to show the real thing, el mawdou3 momken yseer 3aleh takh w hek ashya2, so I got these from those famous photo sites, 3ashan ma 7ada yeeji y2olli “where did you get my picture you perv?” and for the record also, you have no idea how hard it is to find pictures of fully dressed girls on the internet :( it seems that the word “girl” is replacing “naked girl”, le ghayaat al ekhtesar only.


Anonymous said...

hahahahahahaha@ the mirror pose......i'v been noticing that all my teenage cousins had one of those (well at least 1....meaning some have a whole album of the mirror) I thought man I'm getting old I have no mirror picture I have to fix that asap
We now want to see the boy facebook album (those deserve a mention)

jaraad said...

When facebook first started it was limited to one American university then spread to just American Universities. At that time there were unbelievable number of topless pictures girls posted of themselves and also tons of pictures of either boys or girls partying and drinking. Many American universities if not all started doing some damage control on behalf of those kids. It turned out hiring companies were looking into these pictures and they don't want to hire a girl who posts her topless pictures or hire anyone bragging about their drinking habits. Universities started educating their students about the harm these pictures will do to their future. And now college students here post way more descent pictures than before.
Since neither the parents or the university or the school know what these kids post in the Arab world who would tell them that these pictures may destroy their future. Especially for those Arab girls who post pictures of themselves in the bathroom wearing a towel or on bed wearing lingerie.
Regarding boys facebook I guess the most shameful pictures are for Arab students studying abroad. Taking a picture with kissing a blonde or holding a beer bottle is like a dream come true for these kids.

Whisper said...

LOOOL @ provocative :D

About the big teddy bear,this is something bothers me a lot,I'm the only daughter and suppose to be spoiled :) ,I still have that big teddy in the corner of my room and I never ever hug it after reaching 4 :S

After certain age it is stupid to do that :)

BTW I wrote some thing like this in my blog.... here :D

Rand said...

I'll get to it asap mel, although Jaraad here just gave out a couple of hints on what's going to be in it :)

Jaraad, well if u think about it, with all that's been going on here in Jordan some companies will want to hire someone who posts such photos of themselves on the internet, so I guess it depends on your target in life, because some companies do look for a "cool" staff rather than a professional responsible one I'm afraid.

Whisper yeah I remember your "back to zooztee" post :) i read it back then but I was labseh ta2eyyet el e5faa2 w no one knew me back then :) feel free to cuddle with ur teddy bear when no one is watching, I donno how old u r but u'r still allowed to do it every once in a while i guess.

Sareen said...

For number 4 you forgot to mention that the picture HAS to be in your bathroom!

Rand said...

Lol! True true, goes without saying ;) I also forgot the tree photo, you have to have a tree photo, but that's probably because I have a few :D

Rana Safi said...

OMG Rand you are hilarious! it is so damn true! specially the pole one! ROFL

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