The Jordan University for Imaginary Studies is pleased to announce the launching of a new program, starting in the fall 2010 semester, the program is titled “Master’s degree of Kissing Ass (MKA)”.
The launching of the course came as a result of the university’s high interest in the needs and expectations of graduate students around Jordan.
Course description: this course covers the fundamentals of ass-kissing and aims at providing students with the required skills and knowledge to help them achieve something in their lives and become valuable employees in their organizations, in addition to training them to become successors of their current seniors.
(I can’t believe I found this picture, it’s like it was drawn especially for my post.)
The program comprises the following courses:
1. Ass-kissing 101: covers the basics of ass-kissing: greeting the boss at morning and afternoon, staying at boss’s office even when there’s nothing to do there, complimenting boss and attaching oneself to boss’s behind.
2. Ass-kissing for female bosses: covers the fundamentals of sucking up to your female boss, including complimenting her on her looks as well as her unprecedented skills compared to other working women.
3. Ass-kissing for older bosses: this course teaches students how to make a huge deal out of their boss’s 20 years of experience and how it is so weird and unfair that he’s not the CEO\ General Manager\ Minister\ Head of whatever place they work at.
4. Ass-kissing for younger bosses: aims to familiarize students with the basics of kissing their younger boss’s ass, including explaining how the company\institution needs young minds with fresh ideas and talented people (like boss) in management.
5. Tattletaling 101: covers the fundamentals of the art of tattletaling; course chapters include material such as tattling on juniors, tattling on employees of the same level, as well as the art of getting people fired\punished\scolded .. etc.
6. Learning who to CC: this course teaches students who they should CC in their outgoing emails either as a way of making the CCed person feel important or as a way of subtly letting the boss know the other person hasn’t done what they were asked to do yet.
Registration for the course begins Thursday, March 18, 2010. Course fees are 50% of the raise you will be getting on your salary in addition to 20% Rosoom da3m lel jame3aat al wahmeyyeh.
Students are advised to wear some sort of protection on their noses since it will get brown with time, as well as loose fitting pants to ensure comfort when practicing “hazz al danab”.
Who wants in?