Where Do You Work?

My job is getting me more and more frustrated every day :( I work as a quality assurance auditor in a hotshot organization, it’s probably the hardest thing to do when you have employees that are very very resistant to change, especially the old 3ammoyat and khaltoyat :( you can’t just bring a petit 18-year-old looking girl to tell people who have been in their jobs for 20 years or more what to do, but the way of doing business has changed so much in the past few years and we need to change the way we handle tasks.

Also, it’s not just the old people that give me a hard time, there are the young “why-bother” guys, these are even harder to deal with, the first thing you hear when you suggest a development in a certain area is “fokkeena la twarteena, talama ma 7ada sa2elna khalleeha mashyeh” which leads to me having no work at all some days, no lots of days, no no, most of days :( then I have “Jerk” who’s the biggest tattletale in the world, because he thinks that’s what Quality Assurance is about!!! He goes to my director’s office, tells him who said what, who’s standing in the parking lot, who’s eating a sandwich, and who ate “sa7nain mansaf mesh sa7en wa7ad” when we celebrated an award! Aaaaaand “Jerk” is trying to become my boss because that position is still vacant and he’s not qualified enough. The problem is, people listen to him because on the outside, “Jerk” seems like a nice guy, very polite, very smart… only for those who don’t know him as well as I do, and can’t hear him when he talks about them in front of me cause he knows I’m not gonna go say anything :(

Anyways, I’ll bet every workplace has a “Jerk” and some others including these:

1. The donkey work specialist: usually someone with low self esteem or a desire to please the boss.

2. The boss’s pet: just like a teacher’s pet, gets away with almost everything, and the boss usually sticks up for them, Jerk here was the Ex-Boss’s pet, but his glory days ended when the ex-boss was let go.

3. The strong business woman: often found wearing pantsuits, very cocky and always acts busy even if she’s not, overuses the terms (action plan, asap, duplication, essential, brainstorming and tool) even when speaking Arabic, but if she’s your boss she will fight for your rights.

4. The catfight girls: a couple of girls at the office, always fighting and pulling each other’s hair. They were best friends at some point, but we know how girl friendships evolve :)

5. The ‘neswaneh’: a woman usually working as an assistant, secretary or accountant, her main topics are what she’s cooking for lunch and how she’s perfect at rolling vine leaves. She has the same advice for every young girl “deeri balek 3ala 7alek w shoufi 7ayatek barra, el bent bel akher ma elha ella jozha w wlaadha”

6. The introvert: always sitting in their office with the door closed and avoids gatherings.

7. The wussy boss: he gets yelled at by everyone, even people working for him, if he’s your boss, your life will be easy in terms of vacations and early leaves, but not in terms of work, he’ll be too afraid to submit anything you do.

8. The “I have so much work” people: act so busy when you ask them for anything, and they always tell you they have priorities and oh so many tasks to do.

9. The gossip girls: these are everywhere, you can’t get away with making a phone call without them talking about it, no matter who you’re calling.

10. The Innamorato\a: a guy or girl, head over heels secretly in love with someone from work, pays close attention when someone mentions their name, and found in a bad mood when that someone talks to somebody else.

11. The bitter single woman: I’m NOT saying all single women are bitter, but these are always jealous when someone gets engaged or married no matter how badly they try to hide it.

12. The frustrated single man: unable to find the wife of his dreams, although his demands are not as hard to meet as they were in the past.

13. The provide-for-a-big-family man: the sole purpose for this employee is to get his barely-enough salary at the end of the month to be able to support his family, not given all his rights and usually has the worst boss.

14. The “off” employee: always off, calling in sick or leaving early. Not the boss’s favorite person.

15. The transferred dude: keeps moving from one department to another, due to arguments with colleagues or boss.

16. The “cool” crew: these believe their positions are the most important for the business, they never hang out with the (in their opinion) low class employees and are always yelling at janitors, secretaries … etc.

17. The newbie: fresh guy or girl, doesn’t know what the heck is going on around them, and who’s who, we’ve all been there at some point.

18. The paranoid guy or girl: always afraid they will be let go, and scared to death when someone who’s not their biggest fan enters the boss’s office.

19. The mom: leaves early most of the days to pick up her sick kid from preschool, takes a couple of days off in the final exams season.

20. The visitor: going around from one office to another, drinking coffee and sharing news, never at their office and usually a #9.

Where do you work? Do you have these people too?